Daniel My Brother

My Brother is Gone.

Recieving a call early this morning, i decided to let the machine take it. Later i played it to hear on the other end a voice i haven't heard in years. An old family friend had called me, but hesitated to say too much about the name Danny. I wasn't sure if it was the one Danny who we were both close to and in age or possibly my brother, but that didn't seem as probable. Whatever it was that he needed to talk to me about, i still had no idea. I soon called back but he was gone for the day so it would have to wait. 9 hours later a young woman came to my house. No sooner had she said her name in introduction she then quickly blurting out that it was my brother Danny who had died. Now i knew.

My suspicion was that it could be either one and in either case would be tragic news. Both had just been releasted from incarceration and both did the heavy drugs so... I loved them both but i knew my brother had no hope in life and would continue on his path til his now last day.

My brother was 63 and never had proper schooling. He couldn't read and he couldn't write. He was a torrmented soul all through his life and the streets and prison was all he ever knew.
Not much of a human being as some might say but a human being that was kind in his own way and a honest man none the less.
I kept close touch writing him while locked up and i let him know the good possitive things that i really learned from him. He needed to know that he was something to somebody, his little brother regardless of what he was in life. I learned also from his bad choices in life too.

I will miss him but i am at peace. I called my sister to break the news and she took it as anyone would. She loved him dearly but could and would not except his lifestyle, understandable so. Neither did i and he knew it, but he also knew he was family and excepted as best as possible.
Mom is also very sad, knowing that he had to keep his distance from her as in the past he had been very disrespectful to her (and myself) by breaking in or just stealing from us both. I happen to be more understanding and somewhat more forgiving than her only cause i knew how certain drugs can make a person do regrettable acts against those loved. This was his only life and he knew as well as i that it was getting real old. He knew how it would end and it finally came to pass. I will tell his son and then do whatever i have to and that will be that.
I now have a sigh of relief, not worrying about him, yet knowing and at the same time the heartache.

Years ago i woke up in the middle of the night sobbing cause he had died in my dreams and yet my eyes were dry. I told him about it and how much it hurt. At least i had him around on this earth for a little while longer but it was only to prolong his misery. Now as i told my sister, he finally is at rest. Even though he was never around, he will be ever so missed.
Ironic isn't it.