One Amazing Man - Bony Gonzales Sr.

Originally posted on 05/11/2003 as: "Bony Sr...One Amazing Man! " (on my old website). I wanted to re-post it here to carry on his memory, as it should be. I might not be as accurate in what i wrote (but hopefully close). I'm just telling it from my own perspective.
This is what was written ...

My neighbor across the street is very much an inspiration to see everyday, yet he has no idea. This guy is not just any common man to me either.
I'm talking about a man who has been through a lot and only if you walked in his shoes would you really know what i mean by that.

Wait till you read all about it. Its pretty crazy yet i'm totally blown away by this man.

Today he was carrying this 4x4 sheet of drywall..trying to balance it on his head while walking through many obstacles what were all around him.
You see...This man i'm talking about is now completely and totally blind! But, This disability has not stopped him or even slowed him down! Its amazing! How many excuses do we find ourselves making not to overcome our own obstacles?

Well...it doesn't stop there. Due to many events leading up to the loss of his eyesight, his left leg was also amputated. After many struggles of adapting to his new one (leg), his eyes soon began to fade till completely gone.

Now i don't know if anyone believes in fate or not but let me tell you, i seen it all unfold before my very eyes! I never thought about it till today and thats why i'm doing this piece on him....He inspired me without even having the slightest idea. I have seen him work day or night, on any given project he takes on around the house, constantly in his own world of darkness. Then at times i will see him just leaning on the wall in the back yard and enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face.

And at night he'll still be out there doing something or another in the cool air. What amazes me is that he is actually building something regardless of the day. Building you may ask? What kind of work can this man even be doing?
Oh... How bout doing some hammering and sawing some 2x4's or something with a electric "skill saw"! Or maybe at times a hand saw. However he does it...HE DOES IT! At the moment, he's building a large sized dog house and its really coming out good too! Then i found out he wasn't just building one but ...two!

I will get to his story, but i just had to paint this introduction for you so you might grasp the totality of it. I kid you not, to see Bony in action is simply mind boggling. Funny how i just took it for granted when i would see him and thought not much more about it other than a vague passing thought, now being as of nothing new to think about.

Do we all do this or allow this subtle reality to become nothing other than possibly some quick thought of...pity? naw, i think it was just me.

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Let me start from the beginning :

Bony and his wife and kids moved in quite a few years back as time flies. He was the typical Mexican drinking man that he was and he did drink! It was to the point of self-destruction (as it always is). The family paid the price and it wasn't good. Bony speaks no English so it was always awkward for us when we talked, cause my "spanglish" isn't all that, but hey, i can hang a little.

I remember hearing about a bad accident he was in awhile back before he bought the house and because of it was able to buy one now. But what a price to pay! I believe it was close to every bone being broken after being run over by the back wheels of a semi-truck's trailer.Constantly being in pain is what might have led him to drink more and more, coupled with the raw fact that he was depressed and lost much of his self-esteem feeling somewhat helpless to do what a man could.

I mean...sure he was complete and could see, yet in reality this man was a broken man and it showed by his actions. I remember feeling bad or sorry for him. And the drinking continued and it seemed like it was gonna be just a matter of time before he snapped and did something either violent or who knows what! His drunken binges were loud and scary as any of the kids could tell you. They went through a lot and tried to avoid him as much as possible!

This would eventually lead up to his diabetes.

One warm summer night out of the blue a car passes by and for whatever reason fires off a round at the house or... at him? Now he had spent his time on many occasions at the neighborhood "Cantina" and might have possibly made a enemy. I'm only assuming knowing him at the time.
Either way while standing at the front door, apparently the bullet missed him but hit the metal frame of the security door and ricochet off it. It did hit him in the foot, his toe and it wasn't real bad of a wound so he treated it himself and that was that.

Some weeks or month later it became infected. It got to the point of going to the hospital for treatment where one thing soon led to another and thats when he found out he now had diabetes. He would eventually be going back due to severe reactions or complications of some sort. His heart was now threatened and it had stopped while there. Everything was falling apart and i was expecting him to never come home again as did the rest. But this was only to be the first time cause it all happened again only this time it would be a major stroke due to complications once again. When he was released and came home for who knew how much longer as he himself also knew. And now his speech was bad as he tried so hard to say the words that now wouldn't flow out of his mouth as he was once so used to, as of course was his now very awkward movement. Now while in the hospital, his foot was the first to go and that is what began all the complications from that moment on. Next would be the leg up to his knee and that would be about all.
His life was a fleeting one now and ironically he really wanted to live (if possible) but i know he had made he peace and expected the worst as did we all....and we waited.

This was a few years ago.
He now does things as never before, almost as to prove to himself that he can and does whatever he sets his mind to! He has NO TIME for self-pity these days and he is more a man now than a lot of us. His days are constantly filled with his new grandchildren gathered all around him and he's loving every minute!
Something he would have never known and they would only have wondered about...

Fate?...A strong, powerful, yet misunderstood word... Till you see it come to life right before you! While thinking now about it, i had almost forgotten to even mention about his stroke and speech, only because its not even noticeable anymore.
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So today, as he was balancing this drywall and slowly making his way passed the "obstacles" in the yard, i marveled and took a deep sigh as i thought about my own sight, my legs, my health and what i can eat and drink, and my soul was so glad for it!

Bony's soul has since found his place in life, to live and in all its contentment, despite all the "disadvantages?" I sure don't see them... and i have no idea other than what little i can even absorb or comprehend.

He has, as do so many with disabilities, the unspoken "advantage" with all of its mysteries. Alive with the unique "senses" that we ignore or that simply are weighted down and hidden by the others we deem as more important to our lives. (The smell of a flower? The color of a blue sky? To walk or climb anywhere we want without even thinking about it?) Its a whole different level. One i am curious about but will never fully grasp unless i find myself there one day.

Yes, He is a changed man and how he now lives and is happy despite all that has happened in his life. Just one of those wonderful mysteries that work out that way for some of us. Can i say whose fortunate or "less-fortunate?" I can say this...I have a lot to appreciate in life and....A lot to continue learning. Don't we all? oh yeah!!
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Well, its been awhile since i wrote this. Today is Monday, Nov.17th 03
I just found out that this one amazing man won't be doing anymore little projects around the house...
He died this morning. He was given a little more time with his grandchildren and he really enjoyed them. He will never know the future little ones running around and they will never know him and thats a sad thing but thats how it goes in life. And the one's that knew him will wonder why they won't be seeing their Grandpa around anymore but they will remember him always.

I was glad to find out that he was now no longer suffering, which i had no idea cause he covered it up so well, so with that in mind...i'm happier for him now.
Bony...You were a amazing man, and you will definitely be missed! I knew you saw the face of God and I knew He was there with you during those days. You were a wise man to believe and trust in a Loving God who was there to finally welcome you home. I pray i would be so wise.

Rest in Peace my Friend.